A slow death

When a hurricane leaves the warm tropical ocean and moves over land it decays rapidly, but when it passes over cooler ocean it dies a slows agonising death - cut off from the warm ocean it looses its source of energy. In this same way I've felt my life dying a slow death - both physically and emotionally. When I came in April, everything was new - everything. I was excited to walk around and see people, relations that I never knew - but as the days drew on, my heart started to lose energy. Physically, I can most mornings no longer feel the end of my fingers nor feet - as if my very life was running out of my veins. I struggle to keep any heat within my body, perhaps its some sickness or a reflection of my heart. I hold onto memories as a hurricane would try to draw moisture from a cooler ocean, but it leaves me with a feeling of frustration. There is always a chance for a hurricane to reform when it moves to warmer ocean, but in the end - due to the course of nature- it must die or transform. Can I undergo a transformation after I have suffered so much upheaval? I doubt it. Perhaps one day I will wake up and find the brighter sky and vibrant flowers and to find everything had been a dream, who knows? But one thing I do know is that some sicknesses are just untreatable and a sickness of the heart is not easy to cure. I've already purposed in my heart to move back to the warmer ocean.